Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Here I go again.....
I'm going to give this blog thing yet another try. So much has happened since I last posted that it would be almost impossible to play catch up. I am by no means some great writer, but there is just something therapeutic about writing. There probably isn't anyone who reads this, but that's ok because it makes me feel better. God has really been speaking to me lately and I just want to share sometimes. Maybe someone will see something I share and need it. I know stuff like that happens for me a lot! I could go in so many directions right now, but I am gonna keep it short tonight because it is late and I really want to go grab my new book and read since the boys are all asleep. Better things to come!! Some quotes.....
Monday, April 15, 2013
Who's in Charge???
I tell my boys so many times "let me be the mommy" or "I'm the adult" or "I'm in charge", etc. etc. I would be willing to bet that there isn't a parent out there who hasn't said one of those things in some form or fashion. Well, I'm pretty sure that's what God has been saying to me the last couple of days. It's no secret that things haven't gone as I'd planned in my life. I have had to do A LOT of forgiving and overlooking and sacrificing and so on over the past year. I've had to learn to totally rely on God and his grace and strength to get through the mess that has been my life. I finally realized that it would be so much easier if I would just give it all to Him. That's not to say its easy, but I've learned I CANNOT do it on my own. This presents a problem for me.....I want to do it myself........theres no other way right??? I think we all think that a little....our way is the right way.I want to fix things and I want to make sure this is done and that is done. The problem now isn't giving it to God.....I have.....it's letting Him keep it! I keep holding on to little parts or takiing back parts so I can "fix" things. I usually do well, but I have my times when I don't. Leaving my boys when they go with their daddy is always one of those times. Before I go on I have to say that their daddy is a good daddy.....sure he hasn't made some of the best choices and has made mistakes....but who hasn't. He loves his boys and I am thankful for that because they adore him. Still it's extra hard for me because I chose none of this. Satan is soooo good at what he does. Everytime he jumps on it and starts making me think all the negative thoughts.....this isn't fair, I didn't choose this why do I have to be away from them, I'm constantly packing clothes and shipping kids back and forth, this isn't good for them they need consistentcy, why does he always get to do the fun stuff while they come home to me and have to live in the real world and clean rooms and do homework, why does his teenage girlfriend get to hang out with my kids while I sit at home without them, and I could go on and on and on. Well, yesterday was no different. We were meeting and I was actually picking them up to come home but still I was ill because it seems like thats all I do. Well, God showed up and I really felt like He told me to suck it up and quit feeling sorry for myself ;) I ran into a friend that lost his little girl in a car accident. It really hit me that he would probably rather be "sharing" her than to not have her at all. Needless to say I was extra glad to have my boys all home with me last night! Then if that wasn't enough God showed me that once again He's got this and I need to let Him do His thing! The boys were getting sick....again! I was determined that I wasn't going to ask anyone for help....I've got this remember! Well, without tons of details I had some help! I'm glad that my God is in charge and that He watches over and takes care of me!!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
"You've had more than your share...."
Yay me!! I finally found my blog! Yes....I said found. I haven't posted in a while because not only did I forget the login info, I totally forgot the website that contains my wonderful blog. I have wanted to write for a while. Today seems like a great day to start blogging....again.
"I had a bad day" isn't even close on this day. I've had some pretty bad days in my short life (trust me) and this one is right up there with them. I was off work with 2 of my sweet boys who have strep for the second time in the last 3 weeks. I am still trying to recover from severe sinus infection, bronchitis, UTI, and possible kidney stones. Needless to say I woke up tired and exhausted. After fighting with Luke that yes he does have to go to school and no he can't wear shorts today and his hair really isn't sticking up in the back and if he doesn't get dressed he will go to school in his pajamas....he finally made it out the door with his daddy and Ian to school. Titus still asleep and Zeke cuddled up watching wrestling means Mommy can do that wonderful thing we all want to but never get to....crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep. After a bowl of cocoa pebbles I did just that. Around 11:00 I heard the boys waking up so I thought I should get up. It's a dreary rainy day but I had no idea of the events that were to unfold. Apparently I was sleeping oh so well that I didn't hear my phone blowing up with FB notifications and texts. I now wish I still didn't have to see or hear them!! Waking up to what I did is not fun at all. I soon learned that a dear friend had been killed in a car accident. It is still so surreal......just got a message from him yesterday.......our kids are playing baseball against each other Saturday. I think it really didn't sink in until tonight when I grabbed the phone to text a funny picture like we'd done so many times over the past couple of months. So many questions?!?
I was changing my sweet little Titus and discovered that he STILL has a fever. I hear a crazy noise and walk into my kitchen just in time to see my big swing fly by the window in my backyard. I didn't even know it was supposed to be bad weather. I then rush to Park to get the big boys all the while praying that I don't run out of gas in the carpool line. Chad calls and tells me how bad it is in Curry. That's it for phone calls for a while! Can't reach my parents or sister.....or in-laws and not even an answer at Curry Ace. Keep hearing sirens and seeing posts on FB about damage and wrecks, etc. Finally track everyone down and know that all is well......except my 16 yr old niece who we learn has had a wreck. Sis is told she's OK but no one can get anywhere because of all the damage and stuff. All of the sudden my phone works fine and Debbie (who I guess would now technically not be my mother-in-law anymore but was never really just that anyway.......she is and for the last 14 years has been like a second mother and dear friend to me and I pray will continue to be that) calls and says she's on her way to my house. She took my boys and I went to the Walker Baptist ER to see about my niece and sister. The ER is not a happy place for me(I'm sure it isn't for most). Memories of strokes, cut open knees, etc, etc, come flooding back. I get through the breakdown quickly and go inside just in time to see them getting to leave......Thank you God!! Brianna is fine....just a little banged and shaken up. The car not so much but that will be dealt with later. To the lady in the white minivan that my sweet niece rear ended.... you should be more than ashamed!! This person didn't even bother to stop in the middle of the horrible storm when a car hit her from behind. I guess she didn't feel the car that hit the back of her van so hard that the whole front is completely smashed and didn't notice the back part of her van dragging on the road as she left the scene of an accident. I guess she also didn't notice the poor 16 yr old girl crying and scared to death as she crawled out of her car in the pouring rain and horrible straight line winds. Thank you to the kind lady who did help her. Most of all thanks to God that she is OK!! She is now cuddled up in one of my boys' beds sleeping peacefully since they didn't have power. I've heard from most of my family and friends and think that most are fine and only some minimal damage. Lots without power but thankful everyone is ok. I'm not real sure where I was going with all that. I think I mainly needed to get it all out. I just feel so blessed tonight! I just can't ever get over how AWESOME our God is!! He works through everything....mess and all! A good friend said in a text....."you've had more than your share". She of course meant bad things happen lately but I've been thinking about that all night. Sure I guess I have but I've also had more than my share of good things and blessings. It just all about perspective. People tell me all the time "you're so strong" .......that's a big fat NEGATIVE!! My strength comes from the Lord and only from Him!! I have to totally rely on Him for strength and peace and joy. I question Him all the time and have learned that's ok because that how I learn. I learn to view things with a positive Godly perspective and to TOTALLY trust Him.
Why did i have a stroke at 26 that totally turned my world upside down??? Who knows, but I've learned more than one could imagine and been able to use that to help people in ways I'd never imagine.
Why did my husband decide to leave me and our family for a little teenage girl?? Who knows, but again I've learned so much. I've grown closer to God than ever before. I 've made friends and formed relationships I wouldn't have otherwise. I learned what it means to truly forgive. I don't regret our relationship........without it I wouldn't have the 4 boys that are my world!! I got to experience love.......everyone doesn't. I got to be a wife.......not all women get to experience that. I got a whole other family that i love like my own. I hate the way things have turned out but know God's ways and plans are perfect.
Why are my kids constantly sick?? Who knows, but I am blessed they are here and I get to take care of them.
I guess I'm starting to ramble now. I'm sure some will be offended and I'll get talked about for my honesty like I have in the past. All I can say is that It is what it is!! The truth hurts sometimes but it's better than being lied to. I'm tired of deception. I have no intentions of hurting anyone or making anyone look bad. i could have done plenty of that and still could if I wanted but it's not worth it!! 2 wrongs don't make a right!! Might make ya temporarily feel better but soooo not worth it in the end. This is my blog. If my thoughts offend anyone or make anyone feel bad......I'm sorry! If one feels bad......probably your own fault! You have chosen to read this.....if you don't want to hear the truth or something bothers you---don't read anymore! I guess Facebook and Pinterest comments could be a little different???? You might accidentally see things but this is read by choice and it is mine and I will say exactly what I feel!!! That will be the truth..........the truth shall set you free!!! =) Anyway, kudos to you if you've stuck it out and read all this! I promise future posts won't be this bad! Please check back! I will post pics of boys soon. I want to leave some verses with you.
Here are more than my share of verses that have blessed me lately....
(some are the paraphrased by Brandi edition)
*** "God can do more than we can ever hope for or imagine...." Ephesians 3:20
*** "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
*** "Psalm 56
***"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
***"....weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
"I had a bad day" isn't even close on this day. I've had some pretty bad days in my short life (trust me) and this one is right up there with them. I was off work with 2 of my sweet boys who have strep for the second time in the last 3 weeks. I am still trying to recover from severe sinus infection, bronchitis, UTI, and possible kidney stones. Needless to say I woke up tired and exhausted. After fighting with Luke that yes he does have to go to school and no he can't wear shorts today and his hair really isn't sticking up in the back and if he doesn't get dressed he will go to school in his pajamas....he finally made it out the door with his daddy and Ian to school. Titus still asleep and Zeke cuddled up watching wrestling means Mommy can do that wonderful thing we all want to but never get to....crawl back under the covers and go back to sleep. After a bowl of cocoa pebbles I did just that. Around 11:00 I heard the boys waking up so I thought I should get up. It's a dreary rainy day but I had no idea of the events that were to unfold. Apparently I was sleeping oh so well that I didn't hear my phone blowing up with FB notifications and texts. I now wish I still didn't have to see or hear them!! Waking up to what I did is not fun at all. I soon learned that a dear friend had been killed in a car accident. It is still so surreal......just got a message from him yesterday.......our kids are playing baseball against each other Saturday. I think it really didn't sink in until tonight when I grabbed the phone to text a funny picture like we'd done so many times over the past couple of months. So many questions?!?
I was changing my sweet little Titus and discovered that he STILL has a fever. I hear a crazy noise and walk into my kitchen just in time to see my big swing fly by the window in my backyard. I didn't even know it was supposed to be bad weather. I then rush to Park to get the big boys all the while praying that I don't run out of gas in the carpool line. Chad calls and tells me how bad it is in Curry. That's it for phone calls for a while! Can't reach my parents or sister.....or in-laws and not even an answer at Curry Ace. Keep hearing sirens and seeing posts on FB about damage and wrecks, etc. Finally track everyone down and know that all is well......except my 16 yr old niece who we learn has had a wreck. Sis is told she's OK but no one can get anywhere because of all the damage and stuff. All of the sudden my phone works fine and Debbie (who I guess would now technically not be my mother-in-law anymore but was never really just that anyway.......she is and for the last 14 years has been like a second mother and dear friend to me and I pray will continue to be that) calls and says she's on her way to my house. She took my boys and I went to the Walker Baptist ER to see about my niece and sister. The ER is not a happy place for me(I'm sure it isn't for most). Memories of strokes, cut open knees, etc, etc, come flooding back. I get through the breakdown quickly and go inside just in time to see them getting to leave......Thank you God!! Brianna is fine....just a little banged and shaken up. The car not so much but that will be dealt with later. To the lady in the white minivan that my sweet niece rear ended.... you should be more than ashamed!! This person didn't even bother to stop in the middle of the horrible storm when a car hit her from behind. I guess she didn't feel the car that hit the back of her van so hard that the whole front is completely smashed and didn't notice the back part of her van dragging on the road as she left the scene of an accident. I guess she also didn't notice the poor 16 yr old girl crying and scared to death as she crawled out of her car in the pouring rain and horrible straight line winds. Thank you to the kind lady who did help her. Most of all thanks to God that she is OK!! She is now cuddled up in one of my boys' beds sleeping peacefully since they didn't have power. I've heard from most of my family and friends and think that most are fine and only some minimal damage. Lots without power but thankful everyone is ok. I'm not real sure where I was going with all that. I think I mainly needed to get it all out. I just feel so blessed tonight! I just can't ever get over how AWESOME our God is!! He works through everything....mess and all! A good friend said in a text....."you've had more than your share". She of course meant bad things happen lately but I've been thinking about that all night. Sure I guess I have but I've also had more than my share of good things and blessings. It just all about perspective. People tell me all the time "you're so strong" .......that's a big fat NEGATIVE!! My strength comes from the Lord and only from Him!! I have to totally rely on Him for strength and peace and joy. I question Him all the time and have learned that's ok because that how I learn. I learn to view things with a positive Godly perspective and to TOTALLY trust Him.
Why did i have a stroke at 26 that totally turned my world upside down??? Who knows, but I've learned more than one could imagine and been able to use that to help people in ways I'd never imagine.
Why did my husband decide to leave me and our family for a little teenage girl?? Who knows, but again I've learned so much. I've grown closer to God than ever before. I 've made friends and formed relationships I wouldn't have otherwise. I learned what it means to truly forgive. I don't regret our relationship........without it I wouldn't have the 4 boys that are my world!! I got to experience love.......everyone doesn't. I got to be a wife.......not all women get to experience that. I got a whole other family that i love like my own. I hate the way things have turned out but know God's ways and plans are perfect.
Why are my kids constantly sick?? Who knows, but I am blessed they are here and I get to take care of them.
I guess I'm starting to ramble now. I'm sure some will be offended and I'll get talked about for my honesty like I have in the past. All I can say is that It is what it is!! The truth hurts sometimes but it's better than being lied to. I'm tired of deception. I have no intentions of hurting anyone or making anyone look bad. i could have done plenty of that and still could if I wanted but it's not worth it!! 2 wrongs don't make a right!! Might make ya temporarily feel better but soooo not worth it in the end. This is my blog. If my thoughts offend anyone or make anyone feel bad......I'm sorry! If one feels bad......probably your own fault! You have chosen to read this.....if you don't want to hear the truth or something bothers you---don't read anymore! I guess Facebook and Pinterest comments could be a little different???? You might accidentally see things but this is read by choice and it is mine and I will say exactly what I feel!!! That will be the truth..........the truth shall set you free!!! =) Anyway, kudos to you if you've stuck it out and read all this! I promise future posts won't be this bad! Please check back! I will post pics of boys soon. I want to leave some verses with you.
Here are more than my share of verses that have blessed me lately....
(some are the paraphrased by Brandi edition)
*** "God can do more than we can ever hope for or imagine...." Ephesians 3:20
*** "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13
*** "Psalm 56
***"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
***"....weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5
Monday, October 15, 2012
Boys, boys, boys
Sunday, September 30, 2012
They are speaking the language!!
I know sometimes we wonder if our kids are really paying attention in school. I know mine at least hear some things! The boys were playing in their rooms the other day and of course they began to argue about something. I was about to go break up the argument when I hear Luke tell Ian that he is a big dipper and needs to quit dipping in his bucket. It sounded like Luke had it all under control so I held off. A few minutes later Luke told Zeke he was going to have to "clip down" if he didn't straighten up. I believe one of them also told mommy that she needed to be proactive rather than reactive the other day :/ Apparently we have a house full of leaders! Those things are all cute and funny, but it really got me to thinking. What are they hearing from me. If they repeat things at school that they are hearing at home.....is that good or bad?? As parents, we are the leaders in our home. That's a huge job that isn't even close to easy! It's hard to be the Godly parent we need to be sometimes. More often it's easier to just give in rather than go against what the world is doing. My prayer is that I can stand out and have the courage it takes to be that parent.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Everything Changes....
Well, I finally did it! I have been meaning to start blogging again for a while now. I finally broke down and did it. I want to share what God is doing in my life, and I thought this might be a good way. He has really been showing out! For those of you that know me well know that I am not a big fan of change. I get comfortable and have a routine and would keep it like that forever. Don't get me wrong I like to rearrange and move things and I can definitely be flexible, but as far as big life things when I'm good I'm good......just let me be! Well, in the last 5 months my life has been absolutely turned upside down!! In order to make sense of the craziness that is now I will do a quick catch up. Let me say here that I promise everything I write is true. When you read some of this you will think what the crap.....she's got to be making this up. Okay here goes:
(there are many important things up to here but this starts what I really consider my "adult" life)
*September 22, 2002: A guy that I was absolutely head over heels in love with sang me a silly little song and asked me a question that changed my life forever.
*July 12, 2003: I became Mrs. Chad Tuggle and my fairy tale life began.
*December 7, 2004: Ian Chadwick Tuggle was born and I fell in love all over again.
*November 15, 2005: Luke Brandin Tuggle was born and yet again I wondered how it was possible to love this much.
*January 31, 2008: after having carbon monoxide poisoning I had at stroke at the age of 26
* September 11, 2008: I got to experience a true miracle firsthand....Ezekiel Brad Tuggle was born
*December 22, 2010: my cup is definitely running over....Titus Bradin Tuggle is born
*May 2012: Got some news that lets just say rocked my world in ways I never thought possible
*June 2012: Did something I NEVER thought was even possible
*September 2012: Became the owner of my very own house!!
*September 21, 2012: The fairy tale officially ended. Against my wishes and after LOTS of money and a few signatures I am no longer Mrs. Chad Tuggle.
Now we are here in the present. Of course there are so many details and events that fill in all those things I could never write them all. Lots of details don't need to be said anyway. I'm not trying to put all my business out there, and I'm sure some people will have things to say about me writing what I do. My goal isn't to have people feel sorry for me or make anybody look bad. I don't want sympathy and the truth is the truth. I just want to show how God uses even the worst situations for His Glory. I have no idea why the things that have happened have. I do know that my God has a plan that is perfect and I put my trust in that. God is all up in this crazy life I'm living. He shows Himself over and over....even though He doesn't have to. I know He is with me and my boys and will provide and take care of us. I have so many examples I don't even know where to start. Here are just a few examples. My best friend in the world sends a text out of the blue after not having talked in forever. She has no idea that I am possibly having one of the worst nights of my life but just wonders how I am. I have become so close to some friends that I might not have otherwise. I find a great house for an awesome price that I am able to buy right in Jasper convenient to everything, and get to move in before I even buy it. As much as I hate to move my babies 2 spaces open up at a preschool 2 minutes away. I call on Friday and they are able to start Monday. When I don't know how I'm gonna pay bills on Monday the best friends anyone could possibly have get together and give me check on Sunday for about $10 more than I needed. Someone wants to buy an elliptical machine but we just can't work out the logistics to get it to them. The week they are actually able to get it happens to be a week when I'm not sure how I'm gonna make it the rest of the month. Buying new shoes for 4 little boys all at once is very expensive. How about 3 pairs that they wanted were on sale and a random lady at Hibbett's gives me a coupon for $25 off. I could go on and on. Those are just the first things that came to my mind.
Ephesians 3:20 has become sort of my life verse....God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever imagine!!!
(there are many important things up to here but this starts what I really consider my "adult" life)
*September 22, 2002: A guy that I was absolutely head over heels in love with sang me a silly little song and asked me a question that changed my life forever.
*July 12, 2003: I became Mrs. Chad Tuggle and my fairy tale life began.
*December 7, 2004: Ian Chadwick Tuggle was born and I fell in love all over again.
*November 15, 2005: Luke Brandin Tuggle was born and yet again I wondered how it was possible to love this much.
*January 31, 2008: after having carbon monoxide poisoning I had at stroke at the age of 26
* September 11, 2008: I got to experience a true miracle firsthand....Ezekiel Brad Tuggle was born
*December 22, 2010: my cup is definitely running over....Titus Bradin Tuggle is born
*May 2012: Got some news that lets just say rocked my world in ways I never thought possible
*June 2012: Did something I NEVER thought was even possible
*September 2012: Became the owner of my very own house!!
*September 21, 2012: The fairy tale officially ended. Against my wishes and after LOTS of money and a few signatures I am no longer Mrs. Chad Tuggle.
Now we are here in the present. Of course there are so many details and events that fill in all those things I could never write them all. Lots of details don't need to be said anyway. I'm not trying to put all my business out there, and I'm sure some people will have things to say about me writing what I do. My goal isn't to have people feel sorry for me or make anybody look bad. I don't want sympathy and the truth is the truth. I just want to show how God uses even the worst situations for His Glory. I have no idea why the things that have happened have. I do know that my God has a plan that is perfect and I put my trust in that. God is all up in this crazy life I'm living. He shows Himself over and over....even though He doesn't have to. I know He is with me and my boys and will provide and take care of us. I have so many examples I don't even know where to start. Here are just a few examples. My best friend in the world sends a text out of the blue after not having talked in forever. She has no idea that I am possibly having one of the worst nights of my life but just wonders how I am. I have become so close to some friends that I might not have otherwise. I find a great house for an awesome price that I am able to buy right in Jasper convenient to everything, and get to move in before I even buy it. As much as I hate to move my babies 2 spaces open up at a preschool 2 minutes away. I call on Friday and they are able to start Monday. When I don't know how I'm gonna pay bills on Monday the best friends anyone could possibly have get together and give me check on Sunday for about $10 more than I needed. Someone wants to buy an elliptical machine but we just can't work out the logistics to get it to them. The week they are actually able to get it happens to be a week when I'm not sure how I'm gonna make it the rest of the month. Buying new shoes for 4 little boys all at once is very expensive. How about 3 pairs that they wanted were on sale and a random lady at Hibbett's gives me a coupon for $25 off. I could go on and on. Those are just the first things that came to my mind.
Ephesians 3:20 has become sort of my life verse....God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever imagine!!!
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